Path to Peace
As we approach the two year anniversary of my husband’s death, these questions have been replaying in my mind over and over again: What did we miss? Why didn’t the doctors warn us? If we had known what was happening, could we have saved his life?
Deep down inside, there’s a part of me that is still fighting against the loss of my husband. I know in my mind that he is gone, but in my heart I long to find a way to make it untrue. There’s almost this sense that if I could go back and understand what transpired, maybe I could undo it all.
My husband’s death made me realize how little control I have over my life or the lives of those I love. Since God is the sovereign one, I’ve asked Him over and over again: “How can this be your plan? Why didn’t you stop this? Why didn’t you prepare me? Why did you let my young son lose his wonderful father?
In the face of devastating loss, it is hard to reconcile the love of God and the plans of God.
When I look at God’s Word, I see that I’m not alone in this struggle. Hundreds of years before Jesus came to defeat death, the prophet Habbakkuk wrestled with God.
In the midst of turmoil, destruction, and the unfolding of a story that Habakkuk didn’t understand and refused to accept, he cried out to God, “How long, LORD, must I call for help, but you do not listen? Or cry out to you, “Violence!” but you do not save? Why do you make me look at injustice? Why do you tolerate wrongdoing?” (Habakkuk 1:2-3)
God did not respond to Habakkuk’s accusatory questions with anger, abandonment or retaliation. Instead, he lovingly and gently opened Habakkuk’s eyes to a new perspective. The Lord answered, “Look at the nations and watch- and be utterly amazed. For I am going to do something in your days that you would not believe even if you were told.” (Habakkuk 1:5) Even if God explained his plans and answered Habakkuk’s questions in exquisite detail, Habakkuk would not believe it. God’s plans are too wonderful, too incomprehensible, and far too complex for us to grasp.
Paul David Tripp explains our problem like this; “It’s humbling to admit, but important nonetheless. You will never reach true, sturdy and lasting peace and rest of heart by means of understanding… You and I simply are not able to contain in our limited brains all of God’s plan for us and all the reasons for those plans.” (New Morning Mercies, October 29)
Where does this leave us? In a place of surrender. God asks us to trust Him and follow Him when we do not understand. He asks us to let go of our “right” to understand His plan, and to submit to it instead. It’s the continual “trust fall” that is required to follow God. Over and over again we have to pry open the vice-like grip we have on our plans and let Him direct our lives instead.
This is the path to peace. Peace doesn’t come to us when we understand the past or what God is doing in the present. Peace comes when we trust the One who loves us, knows all things, and is holding us as He leads us through this life and into eternity with Him.
In Christ,
